eatsfish | ☂

i always speak like ive got a box of metaphors i gotta try out
idk what the hell youre fucking talking about
this is typical dave speak
and sorta
it doesnt really work
like i didnt download a brain
you dont just absorb the whole thing
its just kind of
snippets
like you get handed like a comicbook thats in the middle of a large event storyline and youre like well how the hell did this caped asshole end up on an island of super babes
like a montage of major events
the cliffnotes version of an alternate timeline thats not actually a good enough cliffnotes to pull off a fake report
like when you absorb enough knowledge of a show that you feel like you probably dont have to watch it but you really should because you dont even know who the hell the main character was you just know the darkhorse fave every fanfic writer is fantastizing about despite only being in like two episodes
like how you only know about katamari because you sat there and watched someone else play it

It's completely different and you're only proving my point. How are you supposed to deal with it if you won't even admit you're upset about it? For god's sake, Dave, I realize I'm not the ideal person to seek comfort from but you have got to have someone. You have a family here, don't you? Quit acting like you have to do everything yourself. Do you want to be alone? I'm going to take a very shallow leap and guess the answer is no, because if it was anything else you wouldn't have decided to talk to me about penguin clubs to distract yourself from the actual issue.

what the fuck oz
chill out
you want me to just ask people to help me dispose of a corpse
thats fucked in all kinds of ways
i dont got people for that
its handled
i wasnt gonna even talk about this
stop freaking out at me
im just trying to have a nice talk about penguins

Oh, so I'm just supposed to take the news that someone I cared about is dead while another version of that person is suffering the consequences because of actions I supposedly took in a completely calm manner? I'm talking about the body, Dave! I'm talking about you!

Damn it. Damn it.

Do you not remember how much of this is my fault? Do you not know how much I owe you? Let me do right by you for just once and let me be a proper friend. Let me repay you. Please.

hey
you didnt kill me
its going to be okay
that was kinda the point
so it would be okay
dude dont go trying to repay me on your birthday
we got way off topic here

I'm still responsible for the actions I took that ended up putting you in the position to need to fix things to begin with. If you hadn't warned me I would have done the same thing all over again. Now you see what kind of person I really am, don't you?

[ He had hoped that at least one Dave would remain in the dark about him, but if he knew everything now -- what could he even do?

... birthday? ]

My what?

what did au you even do again
piss off a bella??
idk
its not really important

dude
dont tell me you dont know the day
bc thatd be really sad

I don't even know. You never shared all the how's and why's. I only know it was horrible, shameful and selfish. You shouldn't even be speaking to me.

I know what day it is. Why do you care?

nope
nu uh
were not playing the "pls hold me responsible for something i did in another timeline" game
not gonna happen
get a new fucking thing to guilt trip about
bc thats not allowed

birthdays are hella important man
im really into them

Let me get this straight. You know what I did and you're not only dismissing it completely but you're asking me about my birthday of all things?

yup
do you want me to mix you something
what kind of birthday shit are you into

If you can really be that forgiving... I'm beginning to think I don't know the first thing about you. I... don't understand, but thank you. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me, Dave. It's more than I think you'll ever know.

[ Getting this emotional wasn't part of the plan, nor was becoming so attached. But now he was. Dave Strider had earned himself a permanent place of importance.

It took him a moment to pull himself together enough respond again. No dwelling was what was requested so no dwelling is what would happen. ]

I meant it when I said I want to be a proper friend. Birthdays are never a bad time to start. What kind of mix are we talking about? Music?

no problem man
you dont have to grovel at me
its really ok
alt us struck a dealio or whatever
also youre just generally the shit imo so id do it anyways

YEAH fucking music
hold on lets see
penguin
im still stuck on the penguins
struck a fucking chord with me
you ever see fightclub
that one scene where hes like
imaging his power animal during this meditation
and its this horrible cgi penguin
thats like
'slide'

I wasn't groveling. I was thanking you. The former isn't voluntary.

[ It honestly did pass his understanding as far as why Dave liked him so much even now, but maybe it was better to accept it than wonder. He decided not to reply until he'd listened to the song in full, which managed to put a genuine smile on his face. ]

You actually made that yourself? For me? It's fantastic. [ Was the part about the movie a joke or not? Either way it coaxed a laugh out of him. He was definitely going to be better to the Dave he still had around from here on. ] No, I've never seen that. Do you have it here?

youre welcome blah blah blah

yeah its a quickie mix
its fucking sweet right
but
ill come up with a better one
and maybe
its probably in the crabtop
probably categorized as human blackrom

I get the point. Moving on.

What do you define as quick? I imagine what you do would take substantial skill to achieve. You needn't go and make another when this one is more than sufficient.

I'm likely to regret asking what "crabtop" and "human blackrom" refer to but I can't let you throw terms like that around and not know.

thinice.mp3
im skilled as fuck man
my shits getting pretty popular around here

crabtop is a laptop crab
and oh boy do i gotta get into the fucking quadrants again
ok
so im buddy buddy with beings from another universe slash planet etc
its easier to just say im friends with aliens even though theyre called trolls and technically they created my universe so theyre not aliens in the correct sense
but whatever
aliens
and they classify their love like foursquare
you know like how we got uh
familial love and platonic love and all that shit
so theres the typical red romance bullshit where youre gonna have babies with your partner and marry the hell outta them but they dont have marriage
then theres pale where its like your platonic soulmate your bestest of best bro that you need to fucking function
and then they have this batshit flipside
where i can basically just describe black as like your mortal enemy who you also love and are sexually attracted to
hatesex basically
and then austician
austrailian
the clover its grey
its when you involve like a third party thats job is to make sure you dont fuck up your relationship
the 'having a permanent wingman' quadrant

You cannot have made that between the time I asked and now. Are you cheating with time by chance?

...well, that was enlightening if nothing else. What happens if none of the categories fit?

first of all i take offense you think ii would blatantly abuse my powers just to pump out a sick remix faster
but also i did cheat
and its not cheating when i do it ok

then youre fucked
luckily i got at least one of them to throw that stupid system out the window bc maybe i wanna marry my best friend right
im not conforming to your rules

Hmmm... maybe I do know you better than I thought? Joking aside, I do very much enjoy your work. It isn't at all a difficulty to believe it would be popular.

Very true. It seems neither of us are conformists.

aw thanks mayor penguin
my popular music isnt even my favorite
im pretty sure the worst song ever is going to be that one that shoots me up as most played on the radio
im gonna end up idly singing something as a joke
likethis.mp3
dont share that but
something like thatll hit the masses
ill get super fucking popular but the jokes going to be on everyone because i hate singing
and theyre just going to keep getting hit with the sickest beats in existence
while they keep wondering where my fucking angelic voice is

oh shit
we should highfive about best bro smooches

For god's sake. Is it impossible for you to refrain from being inappropriate for longer than two seconds? I can't even remark on your singing capability if you're going to send me that sort of thing.

What? I'm not giving you a high five you over something I didn't even mention.

inappropriatesong.mp3

it was implied
wasnt it implied
did i read into that wrong
did i just reveal a secret about myself
did you really plan on that haircut or is that how your hair naturally went and you owned that shit

Good to know that I can no longer listen to anything you send me without wearing earphones.

... was it implied? I didn't think it was. Both? I don't see how this is a relevant question.

what no
you should be listening to my shit at full blast
im trying to get famous bitch
make a request then
what kind of music do you need

well i said maybe i wanted to marry my best friend
and then you agreed that neither of us were conformists to not doing that
so it
nevermind this is totally not important at all
yep
yep
so you cut it to appeal to how it sticks up
is it soft or greasy
do you use product

☂

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