eatsfish | ☂

I'm surprised they'd let you do that here. Are you getting the results you'd hoped for?

Why wouldn't they? I'm not doing anything questionable. They're quite open about using their facilities as long as the study relates to our locale.

The results are promising. None of them are dead yet. I named them since I expect they will last quite a while. Subject A is now Hartley. Subject B is Jell-O.

What have you been doing?

I suppose I'm still not used to the concept of authority no longer so heavily breathing down our necks.

... those names hardly go together.

You are authority, Oswald.

I fail to see how they don't. They're both famous brands of gelatin mix. Do you not like them? I was trying to be amusing.

Perhaps, but not the highest. Not for now, anyway.

I wasn't aware of the correlation. You'll have to excuse my ignorance. I've never found those concoctions to be very palatable. Why would my opinion on their names concern you?

For now.

Really? I find them quite enjoyable. It's not a concern but your opinion on anything is one I take into account. I thought you knew that.

So you're telling me that's perfectly fine and onions are the real problem?

Of course I know. How could I not? I just didn't think it would extend as far as what to name a jellyfish.

The onions' existence in most dishes is completely uncalled for and you know it.

Why wouldn't it?
But I'm not going to change the names even if you hate them.

We've debated this enough times that it would be a waste to repeat myself. I'm holding my position that oatmeal is much worse.

Because it seems like a small enough matter that you wouldn't need to.

I had a feeling you would say that.

Oatmeal is delicious but I will respect your disgust.

It is a small matter. Do you not want me to consider your view next time I'm naming something?

I appreciate it.

I hadn't meant to imply as such if that's how you took it.

I know what you meant.
But I can not consider your opinion the first one I seek out. Take off some pressure. Since it wouldn't be one-sided anymore.

You just couldn't let that opportunity pass, could you? You had to

[ He paused, taking an extra moment to consider what he'd just been told. He was still angry, sure, but he couldn't ignore the guilt that had begun to rise up in him either. ]

You know what? Say what you want, Ed. I deserve it.

Do you? What you deserve would be easier to determine if I had all the information.

You're right. You deserve honesty. I'll give you the truth, Ed, but it can't be like this. I need to say it to your face. It's the only way you might understand. What I deserve after that I'll leave in your hands.

Very well. Just say when.

As soon as you're able.

I don't want there to be secrets between us anymore.

Now.

Where?

Living room.

Understood. I'll be there.

[ What more was there to say than that? He didn't know. All the weeks he had spent slaving over the right things to say and he still hadn't figured out anything. Was there a right way? Could there ever be? Or was the affection he couldn't extinguish, couldn't hide, the thing that would destroy what they did have? It was just another uncertainty. In that moment the only thing he could be sure of is that secrecy itself wasn't going to be what tore them apart. The thought of what would come after that was perhaps the most frightening thing Oswald had ever faced in his life, but Ed had a right to know. He'd had the right to know from the start.

For a time Oswald had taken to pacing the living area, his nerves increasing with every passing second of wondering where Ed was and what he was thinking. The suspense and torment of waiting was only fair. He'd done it to the person he claimed he loved, hadn't he? Maybe he was too selfish for love. Too... greedy. Eventually he found himself on the couch, face in his hands and a cloud of desperation hanging over him. He was going to ruin everything and Ed would hate him forever and he couldn't do a damned thing to stop what was coming. Why why why had he not been honest sooner? ]

[ Ed keeps him waiting for at least five minutes. Intentionally. Truth be told, he was already in the room and simply backed out when he told him to meet him there. Just to see what he'd do. How he's reacting. If Ed can guess what it is that's driving Oswald to hold it to himself so deeply before he goes in there and tries to provoke it out of him.

He's off to the side, in the doorway. Craning his neck to look at him from the hall. A little out of sight but not really. If Oswald really looked, he'd see him.

The pacing is a sign of increasing nerves. Oswald thinks Ed will hate him for, he deduces. Guilty but he doesn't know of what. He can't think of anything he did wrong towards him. When he sinks down on the couch, he moves ahead into the room. He looks so sad and he doesn't want to see it. ]

Oswald. [ He doesn't know if he should even be mad or not. Oswald seems to think he's justified on it but Oswald also thought he had to rig an entire election because he doesn't know what people are thinking about him. Ed decides he's just mad about being favored second for things.

His expression probably comes off a little cold that way, calculating. Eyes flickering about Oswald's face to try and notice any subtle change in emotion and trying to get into his head and solve it before he says anything. ]

[ Of course, he didn't look. Ed had probably known that he wouldn't. The other man likely knew most of his tendencies and habits better than he himself did by now. Oswald hadn't guessed how long he would be sitting there like that, but he had assumed it would be longer and that he would have at least heard Ed coming in so that he could pretend to not be a complete mess if even for a second. But he'd been completely caught off guard, the way he jumped in his seat and took a sharp intake of air as he let his hands fall a more than telling indication of such. ]

Ed? [ His trepidation was quite clear by his tone, almost as if he had been on the verge of crying. That calculating look on his face only made the knot of anxiety in his stomach knot further. He made himself stand, but his eyes were on Ed for only a few stray seconds before his gaze fell downward. ] I-I hadn't expected you so soon.

[ His lips downturn, until he puts them together tightly. Oswald looks like he's on the edge of a meltdown. What did he do to get there? What did you do? Ed's glad he caught this. It'll put whatever he says next in a better context. ]

Got out early. Did you need a minute? [ He asks it but they both know Ed's not going to actually give him that minute now. He's not going to leave. But it's still asked, if somewhat less concerned than he might sound if he caught him like this otherwise.

Oswald responds better to emotion. He could approach this differently. Ask what's bothering him nicely, as a friend.
But he'll also crack quicker if Ed doesn't give away what he's feeling. This is the way to do it. ]

[ Oswald squeezed his eyes shut for several short moments that felt like several extremely long ones before exhaling and forcing himself to keep his gaze set on Ed. It was hard not to waver when the concern that he usually saw when he was in states like this was replaced with a sternness he wasn't quite used to, but if he could survive all that he had until this point and not stay knocked down surely he could do something as simple as look the person he cared for so deeply in the eye. Surely. ]

No. That won't be necessary. [ As much as part of him wanted to back out, the larger part of him didn't. Couldn't. It wasn't as if he had a choice anyway. He had to face this and he had to do it now. ] I think that perhaps we should sit for this discussion. If you don't mind.

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