[ He won't argue with him. He isn't sure if he's more deserving or not. He thinks he does deserve a great deal of things but his own happiness over Oswald's seems a bit much. He does deserve to be happy though, doesn't he?
Ed doesn't know what answer could be inferred with the hug. Maybe none. Rarely one to really initiate the hugs, Oswald still deserved one. Eyes squeeze shut. Embracing him so tightly - tightly both because he wants to cling to something right now and hadn't realized how desperately he wanted the comfort from it. Starved from human contact that wasn't violent. And because of the amount of pain he's in results in more of a squeeze than intended. They're good like this. Silence is okay for now.
At least until he's wincing into Oswald's shoulder because there's another living thing in the room and it tried to join in all this hugging by worming his way in and latching little arms to Ed's side. The side they just patched. Oh. He saw stars. ]
[ Before their embrace, Oswald had feared he would hear something that he didn't want to. That Ed would finally say how he really felt and put an end to his perceived reality that sometimes felt too much like a fantasy. He hadn't. Often nothing said something, and this nothing said that Ed desperately needed to be loved. The way he was nearly clinging to him made that abundantly clear. He wanted Oswald in some capacity, but to what capacity and in what manner was still a mystery. Perhaps the reason he'd said nothing is because not even he knew the answer. Maybe the puzzle wasn't what he'd thought it was.
Somewhere in the midst of things Oswald had closed his eyes too, his hand moving from the place at the back of Ed's neck where his fingers had just barely graced his hair to allow it to slide down and gently rub his back in an act of comfort. It was a bit for both of them, really. If Ed had been in any worse condition, if he'd -- no, he didn't want to think about it. He would have been lost without him.
The sudden sign of discomfort from Ed had him pulling back immediately, causing Oswald to instantly realize that he had been touching his bare skin in a very intimate way without any warning or even asking if he was okay with it. How had he been okay with it? He opened his mouth to apologize, internally reprimanding himself in a constant loop until his attention was brought to the third party that had attempted to be a part of what had been going on. Worry temporarily overrode everything else. ] No, no, no, no. [ He quickly took Spinda's arms, removing them before turning the small creature's head and pointing to Ed's bandaged injury. ] Do you see this? That means he's hurt, which also means you can't hug him there. You have to try somewhere else. Understand?
[ He didn't wait for an answer, instead picking him up and moving him to Ed's other side. Spinda didn't hesitate to attempt hug number two which only made Oswald roll his eyes and shrug lightly. ] I guess he loves you too. [ He looked back to Ed, but the way he went to bite at his bottom lip wasn't because of what he'd just said. For being so quick to react and chastise himself for using the word partner, implicating love had come so naturally and without thought that he hadn't even realized that he'd said it at all. He was, however, aware of the way he'd let his hand wander and he was still extremely embarrassed about it. ] Um. Are you alright?
Edited (i hecked up such a big one) 2017-06-23 07:36 (UTC)
[ This odd moment in time. Somewhere that didn't seem to have consequences to what was real life up until now. Gotham is so far away. No one would ever know what they're doing here. The only person here outside of the two of them is never to be heard from again back home. Everyone he killed today will likely be back by the end of the week. No consequences so no one else here really matters.
Oswald is real. Solid. Cares. Matters. What would he be doing without him? This is important. The hand on the back of his neck - moved to rub his back had put a chill through him. Maybe because it's cold hands on warm skin. Or he's the cold one? Probably not. He's likely feverish. That's why everything feels like he's underwater. He doesn't pull back, even if he knows this is likely taking things another step forward. Forcing it. Another foot in the wat-- oh he fell in.
He snapped out of that in an instant. Sharp hot pain. Spinda meant well but he really lacks the mental capacity to realize things sometimes. Ed had to pull back somewhat, grinding the heels of a palm on his eyes. Tearing up is not the plan. He has to pull the other arm into himself before Spinda unintentionally hurts his wrist further trying to give him an apologetic pat on the hand during hug number 2. ]
You're far gentler with your love than he is. I'm becoming envious of your pain tolerance, Oswald. I underestimated how high it was. [ This is horrific. Ed needs stronger pain killers. ]
[ If love was like being underwater, Oswald had been swept out to sea. He couldn't have stopped himself from falling under the pull of the waves even if he had actually tried to. Just like Ed, he knew how it was to desire affections that weren't cruel. Were those same waves crashing in on him too? If they were, how hard was he fighting them?
Oswald's concern likely showed on his face. The damage couldn't have been too severe, and thank heavens it hadn't been, but with the condition Ed was in there was no question it had hurt quite a bit. He could have determined that without the reaction that was seemingly so out of character, but it made him sympathize more. Feel more empathetic. Those weren't emotions he exercised very often. ]
My -- [ He hesitated momentarily. Had he said that out loud? Yes, yes he had. Would he ever stop feeling shy about showing affection? ] I'm sure he'll learn. He's still young. [ He was actually making excuses for him. Or was he looking for a quick subject change? ... both? ] Oh, well, if you get beat up enough you just get used to it. [ Ha ha. Why did he keep laughing at things that weren't funny? ] Anyway, if you're okay then I really should get you cleaned up and resting.
[ Ed was resisting. Clinging to the edges to avoid full submersion, pulling his head up. The concept of drowning is terrifying. To give in would mean opening back up to the possibility that either one of them may easily get hurt. The only meaningful relationship ending in a death of his own fault doesn't keep the water calm.
It wasn't terrible. Painful, yes. Had it required immediate attention and would need care? Yes. But it would heal. It would be fine. Hardly a scar, most likely - since Ed will be on top of it. Oswald is more resilient than he'll ever be. He understands the strength of the other so much more. He could get stabbed and walk it off.
He gives Oswald a look and gives Spinda one as well. Is he defending him? The secret came out. He likes him enough not to even raise his voice at him for making Ed see painful stars. That's a serious soft spot. Wow. Ed had no idea. A frown follows. ]
That's not true. I never got used to it. ...Right. I'll be okay.
[ Oswald knew Ed well enough to realize that more likely than not he still viewed love as a weakness. He'd watched Oswald become a complete mess throughout this entire process, and in his eyes that had to make his conviction even stronger. But as for Oswald himself -- he couldn't bring himself to entirely feel that way anymore. He had faced pain and inner turmoil at a great length because of his feelings, but those were things he had endured just as much without love in the equation. To love and, even in part, be loved back had given everything so much more value. Things that hurt would hurt less, and things that were joyful were even more so. They would never betray each other and as a team they were untouchable. How could what they had be anything but strength?
The way Ed was looking between him and Spinda made Oswald exhale heavily. It was going to come out that he didn't actually hate the little thing eventually. Stop making that expression, Ed. ] Whatever. Who do you think has to take care of him when he's being a nuisance and you aren't here? [ But then he paused. That hadn't been the right thing to say at all. Had he ever considered how little he knew about Ed's past before now? He sighed again, but it was much more quietly. ] I know. I didn't either. I only took it as a welcome reprieve from the words that often hurt much more. [ He felt sorry for his careless use of words. His gaze averted from Ed's to a washcloth, checking the temperature with the back of his hand before deciding it was acceptable. He paused and bit his lip like he was bracing himself. This certainly wasn't the scenario he'd imagined when he thought about Ed being shirtless in front of him. Not that he'd thought about it. Dammit. It was better if he got caught in the details of what he was doing and forced everything else out. ]
[ Love can lead to betrayal. Or blackmail. Or death. Heartbreak. Suffering. A complete breakdown of every fiber of your being until it's molded into something else. He wants love, he does. But...
Oswald is putting a lot of things into question.
Ed keeps giving them that look. The expression doesn't stop. He keeps glancing between them, at least until Spinda decides to plant a kiss on his hand. Hey. ] A nuisance? Oswald, that's rude. [ He looks away then, lowering his voice down. Hateful. ] There's no reprieve from either. [ A glance back, a forced smile that turns into something small and real while the focus shifts ]
[ That was the biggest difference between them. Oswald had been quick to accept the things he felt despite any questions that would come after, whereas Ed had to consider every possible variable before he could even begin to consider believing or accepting something. Maybe his final calculation would be that Oswald simply wasn't worth the risk. He'd still love him even then, he thought.
If he was going to keep giving that look he'd just have to ignore it. Spinda could kiss him so easily. Brat. ] What should I call it when he slams his head into a closed door three times in a row?
[ The abrupt, stark change in tone left Oswald momentarily speechless and wondering just what kind of horrible memories he'd reminded Ed of. He wanted to know, but was it right to bring it up? Likely not. Not right now especially. But he still felt the need to say something, even if it was said quietly. ] You were better than them. You are better. Weaker people can't stand that. [ He missed the the forced part of the smile, too busy doing... well, exactly what he'd been accused of. ] No! No, I was just -- [ Just what? ] What are you smiling about?
[ Denying the one time someone gives him genuine love is a terrible idea. It's too rare to throw away. To push aside. To not give an attempt at. He at least knows that much, even if allowing himself to give it back is difficult.
The only kiss he's gotten in weeks and it's from a sentient stuffed animal. Oh, Spinda. ] Progress. He usually hits it four times.
[ He shouldn't have allowed his head to go there. He buries that so deep. Whatever memories they were, he's refusing to focus on them. Ed turns his gaze down, shaking his head. ] I know. [ Oswald always means it when he says things like that. The only one who says it, really. But enough of that. There's something to be amused about. ]
You're trying not to look at me, aren't you? [ The smile is getting wider. Abort mission, Oswald. He caught on. ]
[ The desire to give love had never been a problem for Oswald so much as finding people that deserved it. For nearly all of his life only his mother had been worth it. His father, despite how tragically brief it was. But that was platonic. Ed was the only one that had been able to make his heart beat fast enough to consider the romantic in more than passing and quick to fade infatuation. He'd also been the only one able to finally break through and, even if he was still learning, begin to teach him what love truly meant.
If only Ed knew how close Oswald had been to being the one to kiss him. ] Fine. Progress.
[ That small confirmation was really all that he needed to hear to know that Ed's past had been far crueler than he'd thought to consider. It made sense. Not even Oswald had shown him an ounce of respect the first time they'd met. He'd been immediately branded as too needlessly enthusiastic, too nosy, too strange. How much more ruthless had others been? He didn't have time to think about it. He didn't know the past but the present had him scrambling for much more immediate answers. ] I would have thought you'd want me to be mindful of your modesty, but if you're going to be like th- [ Oh god, he was grinning. Face, meet hands. ] Stop it.
[ Ed hadn't the luxury of familial love. Platonic love. True friendship outside of Oswald. Leslie Thompkins came the closest to trying to be his friend before coming here. But only because she was friends with Kristen first. No Kristen and she's punching him in the face at the sight of him. Love is a mostly foreign concept. Any kind.
Now he has ...whatever this is.
He's still grinning a mix of amusement and being incredibly smug about everything. Like Oswald was doing nothing but paying him compliments and he gets to hold his chin high. He is getting compliments, technically. Just not verbally. ] You don't have to be mindful of any modesty. I gave you permission to take my shirt off. [ A wink. ] Stop what? [ He's done for. ]
[ It wasn't a hard conclusion to make that Ed had probably never truly had a family. He never once spoke of them. That left Oswald with nothing to assume except that they had either abandoned him or been unspeakably cruel. It's a sickening realization to discover that the person you adore and love so passionately has never genuinely been loved by anyone else but you. That meant Oswald had to do even better. Try even harder. Do whatever he could to give Ed what he had so severely been deprived of but so very much deserved.
Oswald hadn't exactly factored the washcloth he'd been holding into consideration when he'd gone to hide his embarrassment, so when he hit the unexpected damp surface he'd immediately jerked his head up. It was quick enough to see the look on Ed's face as he said that. The wink. If there's supposed to be butterflies in your stomach when you look at the one you love, Oswald was pretty sure his butterflies were suffocating. It was also possible that his cheeks had just burst into flame. ] You know what. Saying those -- those things. You need to be-- [ Be? ] You should-- [ Should...? He exhaled shakily, his fists clenched. He looked conflicted. Like he was holding himself back from doing something. He didn't want Ed to stop at all. For at least a minute, he didn't say anything at all. Then finally, barely above a whisper: ] I don't know what to do about the way you make me feel.
[ Ed would suspect there could be a sickening possessiveness that could come with knowing such a thing. That any love given was from a single person. All matters of the heart are his to mold any way he pleases and Ed would lack experiences to compare. That the claim of "no one will ever love you as much" could hold true and the proof would be that no one has.
Oswald just hit himself in the face with a wet washcloth and Ed couldn't help letting out a laugh at it, loudly and matching the toothy smile on his face. He's twisting him up. This must be some sort of form of torture. Look how red his face is. ] Should...? [ What should he be doing? Sleeping, probably. The current situation overrules the tiredness and is distracting enough from the pain. He tilts his head, presses his lips together for a moment in thought. Oswald doesn't know what to do here. He stumped him. ]
I am just two and two. I am hot. I am cold. I am the parent of numbers that cannot be told. I am a gift beyond measure, a matter of course. I am given with pleasure, or taken by force. What am I?
[ The laughing certainly didn't make the hue on his face any less intense, but the sound of it produced a very small and extremely bashful smile from Oswald. Was it at him or with him? He wasn't sure that mattered. He just wanted to hear it. As long as Ed was laughing everything felt a little better, even if it did only make him fall harder with every passing second. If only it had lasted. When it stopped the smile slipped away and he was left feeling vulnerable again. He wasn't sure how to respond. Oswald knew what he'd meant and sleep had indeed been the correct answer, but he paused. Ed was posing a riddle. For all of a millisecond he looked uncertain.
A penny dropped. His eyes widened. Oswald didn't need to hear the whole thing to know what the answer was. Where it was going. For a moment it felt like everything had completely frozen and nothing else around them was real. Ed... was telling him to kiss him? That couldn't be right. It sounded too good to be true. But would he invite such a thing to satisfy Oswald's desires alone? Ed was sacrificial, but he had never lied. Never led him on. Unable to find the words to ask what his heart was begging to know, Oswald searched his face, desperately looking to glean an answer from his gaze.
He found what he'd been looking for.
What had been in his hand was immediately dropped and forgotten. Before he could question himself any further he was just a breath away from Ed's face, staring more deeply into his eyes than he ever had before. There were no more questions to be asked; rather, there was one to answer. Oswald's gaze flickered downward and back up again, both gathering his courage and asking permission despite that it had already been given. It was now or never. He inhaled before he leaned in completely and closed his eyes, titling his head ever so slightly. Both hands found their way to the sides of Ed's face, completely in sync with the moment that their lips gently met. It was modest and without fanfare, but the emotion put into it was immense. If the first time they had been here was beautiful, this time was breathtaking. Oswald was helpless to hold back the urge to smile into it.
The butterflies weren't suffocating. They had died to the rest of the universe and ascended to paradise. ]
Edited (me: still editing this bc im being picky af) 2017-07-01 10:03 (UTC)
[ As long as he's smiling, Ed can keep saying things. Keep teasing. Keep joking. Laughing at his silly little acts in a completely un-cruel manner. It's embarrassing when you hit yourself in the face but it's okay to laugh at yourself. If it hurt, Ed wouldn't laugh. Oswald can laugh if he did it. And that's an important distinction. A certain line they never cross that others easily leap right over. It's not funny when it hurts.
Ed knows what he said and he can't back out of it now. (You never wanted to.) There's a drumming sound in his ears. A trap set up by nature. A natural occurrence that he shouldn't be fighting as hard as he has been because it's impossible. Various studies show that the mind of a person takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes to determine whether it became infected with a word Oswald can verbalize at him with such sincerity.
The riddle is said. He doesn't know what brought it out - well... he does but it's nothing he was ready to admit or discuss further in his head until a second ago. It's a funny little thing. And he doesn't really think he can blame it all on medicine kicking in. The blood loss. The adrenaline rush from winning a death match. The thrill of victory. It wasn't all that but those might have factored into the certain boldness he was feeling to pull him in.
He's on top right now. Come join him.
Oswald doesn't hesitate too long. He wasn't expected to. The moment he leans in, Ed's arms are around him. It isn't a deep intensity, fire threatening to engulf them. Not on the surface. It doesn't feel dangerous. Such a move can be. Terrifying. Granting permission to have it all. Anything for him though because it feels more like a cog turning and setting everything perfectly in motion. How it's supposed to go. There's a smile in there, he can feel it. It says more than a full night of the only thing he has to compare. How little he truly understands.
It isn't long - though it feels so. He has to pull back to breathe, an action that was already a little hard to do. This isn't the most comfortable position but he's keeping him there. Moving a hair back for him. Running a hand along his face. Taking things in. Never looking elsewhere. ]
[ As long as they were smiling and laughing. He definitely wanted that. He wanted Ed to feel safe enough to do those things so much more often. His smile was beautifully infectious and his laughter just as much. It was so wrong that the course of life had attempted so violently to steal those things from him. Oswald swore to himself then if he could do anything about it, that would never happen.
There was a part of him still afraid to believe. But things between them had gone further than he could have ever anticipated. From the start Ed had been a diligent ally and soon after a good friend. For the first time in his life Oswald had even had a best friend. Then... then he'd become even more. Not an ally, nor a friend, nor a best friend. He'd become everything important in Oswald's life. Ed had never stopped himself from getting closer. Oswald had been afraid once he realized his feelings, but he'd never wanted to stop getting closer either. So that's exactly what they'd become and now they were here. Neither of them had begun with this as a calculated result, yet it was one that had manifested regardless. It had become the one thing he wanted above even power and vengeance. How could he hesitate?
Feeling Ed's arms wrapped around him in an entirely new and exciting way was absolutely thrilling. He was actually reciprocating! Could he even identify all the positive emotions bubbling up inside of him? He wasn't sure. He didn't think he could. That was just fine. Everything did feel right. Perfect. Immeasurably wonderful. Had Ed not pulled back first, Oswald might have forgotten that he needed to breathe himself. He was completely trapped in Ed's gaze and he was positive the affection in his touch had made him experience a surprisingly pleasant chill himself. Nothing in the world could hold him back from smiling fully now. ]
Remarkable. [ Why did he sound so out of breath for an action so simple? Maybe it was shock. Disbelief that what he'd only been able to have in fantasies had just transpired in reality. Even then his excitement was shining through. ] I mean -- what I mean is you're remarkable. Amazing. Everything about you is so... so... [ Oswald laughed, a paradoxical mix of shyness and a newfound sense of freedom fueling it. But when he stopped and the laughter grew quiet, his voice was the utmost in sincerity. ] I really love you, Ed. [ He peered down as if it was the first time he was admitting it, but his hand moved to grasp the one Ed had so delicately ran along his face. He would remember that sensation forever, he thought. He held his hand in place, squeezing it affectionately and allowing himself to melt into the feeling. It wouldn't be so bad if they just stayed that way forever. ]
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Ed doesn't know what answer could be inferred with the hug. Maybe none. Rarely one to really initiate the hugs, Oswald still deserved one. Eyes squeeze shut. Embracing him so tightly - tightly both because he wants to cling to something right now and hadn't realized how desperately he wanted the comfort from it. Starved from human contact that wasn't violent. And because of the amount of pain he's in results in more of a squeeze than intended. They're good like this. Silence is okay for now.
At least until he's wincing into Oswald's shoulder because there's another living thing in the room and it tried to join in all this hugging by worming his way in and latching little arms to Ed's side. The side they just patched. Oh. He saw stars. ]
Spinda, please let go.
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Somewhere in the midst of things Oswald had closed his eyes too, his hand moving from the place at the back of Ed's neck where his fingers had just barely graced his hair to allow it to slide down and gently rub his back in an act of comfort. It was a bit for both of them, really. If Ed had been in any worse condition, if he'd -- no, he didn't want to think about it. He would have been lost without him.
The sudden sign of discomfort from Ed had him pulling back immediately, causing Oswald to instantly realize that he had been touching his bare skin in a very intimate way without any warning or even asking if he was okay with it. How had he been okay with it? He opened his mouth to apologize, internally reprimanding himself in a constant loop until his attention was brought to the third party that had attempted to be a part of what had been going on. Worry temporarily overrode everything else. ] No, no, no, no. [ He quickly took Spinda's arms, removing them before turning the small creature's head and pointing to Ed's bandaged injury. ] Do you see this? That means he's hurt, which also means you can't hug him there. You have to try somewhere else. Understand?
[ He didn't wait for an answer, instead picking him up and moving him to Ed's other side. Spinda didn't hesitate to attempt hug number two which only made Oswald roll his eyes and shrug lightly. ] I guess he loves you too. [ He looked back to Ed, but the way he went to bite at his bottom lip wasn't because of what he'd just said. For being so quick to react and chastise himself for using the word partner, implicating love had come so naturally and without thought that he hadn't even realized that he'd said it at all. He was, however, aware of the way he'd let his hand wander and he was still extremely embarrassed about it. ] Um. Are you alright?
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Oswald is real. Solid. Cares. Matters. What would he be doing without him? This is important. The hand on the back of his neck - moved to rub his back had put a chill through him. Maybe because it's cold hands on warm skin. Or he's the cold one? Probably not. He's likely feverish. That's why everything feels like he's underwater. He doesn't pull back, even if he knows this is likely taking things another step forward. Forcing it. Another foot in the wat-- oh he fell in.
He snapped out of that in an instant. Sharp hot pain. Spinda meant well but he really lacks the mental capacity to realize things sometimes. Ed had to pull back somewhat, grinding the heels of a palm on his eyes. Tearing up is not the plan. He has to pull the other arm into himself before Spinda unintentionally hurts his wrist further trying to give him an apologetic pat on the hand during hug number 2. ]
You're far gentler with your love than he is. I'm becoming envious of your pain tolerance, Oswald. I underestimated how high it was. [ This is horrific. Ed needs stronger pain killers. ]
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Oswald's concern likely showed on his face. The damage couldn't have been too severe, and thank heavens it hadn't been, but with the condition Ed was in there was no question it had hurt quite a bit. He could have determined that without the reaction that was seemingly so out of character, but it made him sympathize more. Feel more empathetic. Those weren't emotions he exercised very often. ]
My -- [ He hesitated momentarily. Had he said that out loud? Yes, yes he had. Would he ever stop feeling shy about showing affection? ] I'm sure he'll learn. He's still young. [ He was actually making excuses for him. Or was he looking for a quick subject change? ... both? ] Oh, well, if you get beat up enough you just get used to it. [ Ha ha. Why did he keep laughing at things that weren't funny? ] Anyway, if you're okay then I really should get you cleaned up and resting.
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It wasn't terrible. Painful, yes. Had it required immediate attention and would need care? Yes. But it would heal. It would be fine. Hardly a scar, most likely - since Ed will be on top of it. Oswald is more resilient than he'll ever be. He understands the strength of the other so much more. He could get stabbed and walk it off.
He gives Oswald a look and gives Spinda one as well. Is he defending him? The secret came out. He likes him enough not to even raise his voice at him for making Ed see painful stars. That's a serious soft spot. Wow. Ed had no idea. A frown follows. ]
That's not true. I never got used to it. ...Right. I'll be okay.
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The way Ed was looking between him and Spinda made Oswald exhale heavily. It was going to come out that he didn't actually hate the little thing eventually. Stop making that expression, Ed. ] Whatever. Who do you think has to take care of him when he's being a nuisance and you aren't here? [ But then he paused. That hadn't been the right thing to say at all. Had he ever considered how little he knew about Ed's past before now? He sighed again, but it was much more quietly. ] I know. I didn't either. I only took it as a welcome reprieve from the words that often hurt much more. [ He felt sorry for his careless use of words. His gaze averted from Ed's to a washcloth, checking the temperature with the back of his hand before deciding it was acceptable. He paused and bit his lip like he was bracing himself. This certainly wasn't the scenario he'd imagined when he thought about Ed being shirtless in front of him. Not that he'd thought about it. Dammit. It was better if he got caught in the details of what he was doing and forced everything else out. ]
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Oswald is putting a lot of things into question.
Ed keeps giving them that look. The expression doesn't stop. He keeps glancing between them, at least until Spinda decides to plant a kiss on his hand. Hey. ] A nuisance? Oswald, that's rude. [ He looks away then, lowering his voice down. Hateful. ] There's no reprieve from either. [ A glance back, a forced smile that turns into something small and real while the focus shifts ]
Are you staring at a washcloth?
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If he was going to keep giving that look he'd just have to ignore it. Spinda could kiss him so easily. Brat. ] What should I call it when he slams his head into a closed door three times in a row?
[ The abrupt, stark change in tone left Oswald momentarily speechless and wondering just what kind of horrible memories he'd reminded Ed of. He wanted to know, but was it right to bring it up? Likely not. Not right now especially. But he still felt the need to say something, even if it was said quietly. ] You were better than them. You are better. Weaker people can't stand that. [ He missed the the forced part of the smile, too busy doing... well, exactly what he'd been accused of. ] No! No, I was just -- [ Just what? ] What are you smiling about?
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The only kiss he's gotten in weeks and it's from a sentient stuffed animal. Oh, Spinda. ] Progress. He usually hits it four times.
[ He shouldn't have allowed his head to go there. He buries that so deep. Whatever memories they were, he's refusing to focus on them. Ed turns his gaze down, shaking his head. ] I know. [ Oswald always means it when he says things like that. The only one who says it, really. But enough of that. There's something to be amused about. ]
You're trying not to look at me, aren't you? [ The smile is getting wider. Abort mission, Oswald. He caught on. ]
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If only Ed knew how close Oswald had been to being the one to kiss him. ] Fine. Progress.
[ That small confirmation was really all that he needed to hear to know that Ed's past had been far crueler than he'd thought to consider. It made sense. Not even Oswald had shown him an ounce of respect the first time they'd met. He'd been immediately branded as too needlessly enthusiastic, too nosy, too strange. How much more ruthless had others been? He didn't have time to think about it. He didn't know the past but the present had him scrambling for much more immediate answers. ] I would have thought you'd want me to be mindful of your modesty, but if you're going to be like th- [ Oh god, he was grinning. Face, meet hands. ] Stop it.
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Now he has ...whatever this is.
He's still grinning a mix of amusement and being incredibly smug about everything. Like Oswald was doing nothing but paying him compliments and he gets to hold his chin high. He is getting compliments, technically. Just not verbally. ] You don't have to be mindful of any modesty. I gave you permission to take my shirt off. [ A wink. ] Stop what? [ He's done for. ]
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Oswald hadn't exactly factored the washcloth he'd been holding into consideration when he'd gone to hide his embarrassment, so when he hit the unexpected damp surface he'd immediately jerked his head up. It was quick enough to see the look on Ed's face as he said that. The wink. If there's supposed to be butterflies in your stomach when you look at the one you love, Oswald was pretty sure his butterflies were suffocating. It was also possible that his cheeks had just burst into flame. ] You know what. Saying those -- those things. You need to be-- [ Be? ] You should-- [ Should...? He exhaled shakily, his fists clenched. He looked conflicted. Like he was holding himself back from doing something. He didn't want Ed to stop at all. For at least a minute, he didn't say anything at all. Then finally, barely above a whisper: ] I don't know what to do about the way you make me feel.
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Oswald just hit himself in the face with a wet washcloth and Ed couldn't help letting out a laugh at it, loudly and matching the toothy smile on his face. He's twisting him up. This must be some sort of form of torture. Look how red his face is. ] Should...? [ What should he be doing? Sleeping, probably. The current situation overrules the tiredness and is distracting enough from the pain. He tilts his head, presses his lips together for a moment in thought. Oswald doesn't know what to do here. He stumped him. ]
I am just two and two. I am hot. I am cold. I am the parent of numbers that cannot be told. I am a gift beyond measure, a matter of course. I am given with pleasure, or taken by force. What am I?
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A penny dropped. His eyes widened. Oswald didn't need to hear the whole thing to know what the answer was. Where it was going. For a moment it felt like everything had completely frozen and nothing else around them was real. Ed... was telling him to kiss him? That couldn't be right. It sounded too good to be true. But would he invite such a thing to satisfy Oswald's desires alone? Ed was sacrificial, but he had never lied. Never led him on. Unable to find the words to ask what his heart was begging to know, Oswald searched his face, desperately looking to glean an answer from his gaze.
He found what he'd been looking for.
What had been in his hand was immediately dropped and forgotten. Before he could question himself any further he was just a breath away from Ed's face, staring more deeply into his eyes than he ever had before. There were no more questions to be asked; rather, there was one to answer. Oswald's gaze flickered downward and back up again, both gathering his courage and asking permission despite that it had already been given. It was now or never. He inhaled before he leaned in completely and closed his eyes, titling his head ever so slightly. Both hands found their way to the sides of Ed's face, completely in sync with the moment that their lips gently met. It was modest and without fanfare, but the emotion put into it was immense. If the first time they had been here was beautiful, this time was breathtaking. Oswald was helpless to hold back the urge to smile into it.
The butterflies weren't suffocating. They had died to the rest of the universe and ascended to paradise. ]
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Ed knows what he said and he can't back out of it now. (You never wanted to.) There's a drumming sound in his ears. A trap set up by nature. A natural occurrence that he shouldn't be fighting as hard as he has been because it's impossible. Various studies show that the mind of a person takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes to determine whether it became infected with a word Oswald can verbalize at him with such sincerity.
The riddle is said. He doesn't know what brought it out - well... he does but it's nothing he was ready to admit or discuss further in his head until a second ago. It's a funny little thing. And he doesn't really think he can blame it all on medicine kicking in. The blood loss. The adrenaline rush from winning a death match. The thrill of victory. It wasn't all that but those might have factored into the certain boldness he was feeling to pull him in.
He's on top right now. Come join him.
Oswald doesn't hesitate too long. He wasn't expected to. The moment he leans in, Ed's arms are around him. It isn't a deep intensity, fire threatening to engulf them. Not on the surface. It doesn't feel dangerous. Such a move can be. Terrifying. Granting permission to have it all. Anything for him though because it feels more like a cog turning and setting everything perfectly in motion. How it's supposed to go. There's a smile in there, he can feel it. It says more than a full night of the only thing he has to compare. How little he truly understands.
It isn't long - though it feels so. He has to pull back to breathe, an action that was already a little hard to do. This isn't the most comfortable position but he's keeping him there. Moving a hair back for him. Running a hand along his face. Taking things in. Never looking elsewhere. ]
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There was a part of him still afraid to believe. But things between them had gone further than he could have ever anticipated. From the start Ed had been a diligent ally and soon after a good friend. For the first time in his life Oswald had even had a best friend. Then... then he'd become even more. Not an ally, nor a friend, nor a best friend. He'd become everything important in Oswald's life. Ed had never stopped himself from getting closer. Oswald had been afraid once he realized his feelings, but he'd never wanted to stop getting closer either. So that's exactly what they'd become and now they were here. Neither of them had begun with this as a calculated result, yet it was one that had manifested regardless. It had become the one thing he wanted above even power and vengeance. How could he hesitate?
Feeling Ed's arms wrapped around him in an entirely new and exciting way was absolutely thrilling. He was actually reciprocating! Could he even identify all the positive emotions bubbling up inside of him? He wasn't sure. He didn't think he could. That was just fine. Everything did feel right. Perfect. Immeasurably wonderful. Had Ed not pulled back first, Oswald might have forgotten that he needed to breathe himself. He was completely trapped in Ed's gaze and he was positive the affection in his touch had made him experience a surprisingly pleasant chill himself. Nothing in the world could hold him back from smiling fully now. ]
Remarkable. [ Why did he sound so out of breath for an action so simple? Maybe it was shock. Disbelief that what he'd only been able to have in fantasies had just transpired in reality. Even then his excitement was shining through. ] I mean -- what I mean is you're remarkable. Amazing. Everything about you is so... so... [ Oswald laughed, a paradoxical mix of shyness and a newfound sense of freedom fueling it. But when he stopped and the laughter grew quiet, his voice was the utmost in sincerity. ] I really love you, Ed. [ He peered down as if it was the first time he was admitting it, but his hand moved to grasp the one Ed had so delicately ran along his face. He would remember that sensation forever, he thought. He held his hand in place, squeezing it affectionately and allowing himself to melt into the feeling. It wouldn't be so bad if they just stayed that way forever. ]