[ The silence on Penguin's end while the words sank into his skull were met with Ed coughing until he calmed down somewhat and resisted the urge to do so and cause any sort of injury. He's grateful they're not in the same room. What a mess he is. ]
Before we were an item. [ He corrects. The murder part was a given. She obviously doesn't remember that or he would have directly said this was a huge problem. This might be more important, since she wouldn't have a reason to want to get close to him. He couldn't ...accidentally hurt her. Again. It's a good thing. Maybe. He doesn't know what to feel right now. ]
She trusts me. I could vouch for you. [ That's what he's worried about, right? ]
[ The coughing was both worrisome and irritating at the same time. Were Oswald not so angry and caught up in keeping himself under control he may have properly registered that a phone call likely wasn't the best thing for Ed to be engaging in, but. Well. He probably wasn't going to stop being mad any time soon. ]
That's what I said. [ He was going to regret being so impatient later. ] As fine and dandy is that is, Ed, I don't trust her. How do you know for certain she's the same person you think she is? How is it that Barbara Kean's timeline matches ours but Kristen Kringle's doesn't? Does that not bother you even a little bit? [ How does it not bother him? It has to. It's supposed to. ]
Who else would she be? [ As if Ed wouldn't know exactly who she was. He wouldn't be so easily fooled by some sort of imposter of someone he got close enough with to love. It's an incredibly short list of people he knows that well. Oswald can be so overly paranoid sometimes. It's almost irrational. Again, the circumstances must be frightening. It implies anyone could show up from any point. It is alarming. He'll forgive him. ]
It doesn't bother me. People fear becoming me more than anything else and I'm the opposite is what you are now. What am I? [ He doesn't wait too long for Oswald to actually solve this one. ] Dead. If she were on our timeline, she would be a rotting corpse. It'd be impossible to have her here from the same point as the rest of us.
[ Oswald closed his eyes and exhaled sharply through his nose, trying to gather his composure enough to stop himself from yelling. Even if he couldn't understand why Ed had ever fallen for someone so far beneath to begin with was beyond him, but this wasn't his fault. It was hers. Not for being there, but for whatever the hell kind of power she had over him that made him so... what? So what? So affectionate towards someone that wasn't him? ]
You're missing my -- [ He cut himself short, his lips pressed together in a straight line to contain any snappy remarks he easily would have let loose on anyone else. The last thing he wanted to think about was a riddle just then, but he still had intention of answering it until Ed gave the solution before he even had the chance. Never mind then. ]
This goes beyond just timelines. Lest you've forgotten, you were the one who proposed multiple universes to begin with, so allow me to ask you this: have you considered at all that the one she came from isn't the same as ours? That she's not the Kristen Kringle you [ supposedly ] know? To rule out such a possibility so soon considering the rather major discrepancy we are aware of isn't like you, Ed. One night you can't sleep because of so many unanswered questions and the next you're eagerly willing to accept something that so shamelessly spits in the face of logic?
[ He doesn't like being told he isn't thinking clearly. There's an almost exasperated uneven sigh on his end. The different perspective creates Oswald as the one being paranoid instead of Ed being irrationally accepting of something. He's getting too worked up about this but this has helped Ed calm down significantly in order to explain better. Perhaps there is a balance of sorts. They both can't be upset or there would be complete chaos. ]
You're misunderstanding. I'm aware this is not the same exact version. Her arrival here creates a paradoxical situation. She can not be both alive and dead in the same universe. However, this is Kristen Kringle, regardless of whatever version she may be. There is clearly enough parallel events on her timeline to lead to an almost exact replica of how she would look, act and react in the way a version of her would have from our own.
I am not proposing we trust her with sensitive information. Simply that if she reacts negatively to you, I may be able to reason out a positive outlook.
[ That was all he could say for a moment. Just repeating that thought. Somehow he managed to say it plainly but unevenly all at once. Neutral but also bitter. It hurt, in a way. Did Ed think he was incompetent and filled with baseless arguments There was nothing but the sound of his breathing coming through the phone for a short while as he considered if that could be true or not. He also came to a realization. Nothing he said was going to change Ed's mind, and there was nothing he could do to take Kristen out of the equation. He was stuck. There was certainly no ease in his voice when he chose to speak again, but all things considered he was coming across much calmer than he thought he was capable of pretending to be. ]
You know what? Fine. Clearly this discussion is going nowhere, so fine. I concede. You've known what's best many times in the past. Who am I to argue? [ That Ed often saw things in the most beneficial light was the truth, but Oswald did want to argue. He just... couldn't. Didn't have a choice. ]
[ Ed pauses a moment after he speaks, breathing through his nose in a way that's either him just catching up his breath again or a sigh of how dramatically Oswald is doing the verbal equivalent of throwing his hands up. Or attempting to resist the urge to bash his head against a wall.
The phone gets shifted from one ear to the other. ]
My apologizes if I've offended you. This is upsetting. I was hoping you'd say something... reassuring. You might be right. I'm being too calm about this. Does it really sound like excuses?
[ Reassuring. Yes, reassuring is what he should have been. Oswald knew what he should have been saying, what worries he should be quelling, but if he was correct in what he believed Ed needed reassurance for he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to give it or even if he could. He'd have to go about things in a different way. ]
There's no need for apology. [ He said that too fast. It felt unnatural. Breathe in, breathe out. ] Ed. I know from your position that I may seem... well, a bit prone to overreaction, but I do worry that past affections may hinder your sight. I say this, of course, only out of concern for you as my dear friend. If you think you can convince her to remain unconcerned with me I will happily trust you to it [ lie ], but as for where this could go in other areas... I'm worried you may end up hurt. [ Half of a lie. ]
Other areas... [ Bluntly. ] You're saying not to repeat past mistakes. [ The tone still indicates it might be a question but he isn't asking for clarification.
Ed removes the phone from his ear and puts it against his forehead. He doesn't know what he was expecting here. Seeing her had brought about a flush of emotions. He never did stop loving her, as enlightening as it had been to kill her after the initial shock. This could be a do over. But it shouldn't be.
Defeated: ]
She's only been here a few hours and I'm questioning myself. [ Duh. More to himself. He paces in his spot, switching the phone's position again from one ear to the other. ]
Act as friend. It would be suspect to act otherwise. But things have to be kept at a distance. I can't be honest with her and pursuing her in any capacity is out of the question. I'll likely only end up hurting her again. [ Or worse. That'll hurt him. Oswald's right. A pause ] Should any contradiction between her timeline and ours arises, we'll adjust our stories accordingly to match.
I realize that isn't what you wanted me to say. I wish I could tell you something less painful, but...
[ But he didn't. Ed feeling any shred of emotional duress was the opposite of what he wanted, but so was him feeling any shred of longing for Kristen. That wasn't in the plan. She wasn't in the plan. He told himself that he had trailed off his words to let Ed think, but he'd done it for himself as well. Just as he'd been about to speak up again, Ed did instead. ]
... you're not going to pursue her? [ Oswald sounded quiet, unsure. The rest of it had registered but that was the first thing that tumbled out of his mouth. ]
[ It comes out a little too fast and Ed almost feels like he shouldn't have. He pauses, voice quiet. Sobering. Almost regretful. ]
What if I hurt her? I can't. She didn't- Doesn't. She doesn't agree with what I did. And I don't regret it. I have to accept that. It ended horribly. It would undoubtedly repeat itself. I don't think I could keep lying so I couldn't continue to be with someone that would view me like- [ A psychopath? Clears his throat. ] Well.
[ Oswald barely had time to cover the phone before he exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He couldn't hold back the grin that was rapidly spreading across his face either. He really wasn't going to go after her. She'd never have him. He could still...
He let out a small, breathy laugh. It was so selfish to be happy, especially the way Ed sounded, but the fear that there was a possibility of losing him to the only person who had the power to take him away -- it was horrifying. But not anymore. He lifted his hand from the phone, seeing now the opportunity he had. He could be the one to support Ed. He was the one who could be there. ]
You shouldn't regret it. You did it because you wanted to protect someone you cared about. There is no regret to be had, friend. I'm only sorry it was for someone who didn't know how to appreciate it. [ Unlike him. He knew how to appreciate how far Ed was willing to go. ] Please believe me when I say that you're not a bother to me. I'll always listen to you. Always. What are friends for, right?
[ Oswald going quiet seemed a lot longer than it should have to him. He wonders if he hung up for a moment and pulls the phone away from his ear to check the screen. No. Still there. He's just too desperate for some sort of response right now, even if he just apologized for bothering him and would hang up himself if it ended right there.
Ed almost bites his nail but catches himself and drops his hand. Oswald has good points. She didn't appreciate that. He probably didn't break it to her right. Maybe if he explained better and didn't hide it-
Now he's making excuses. ]
You're a good friend, Oswald. [ It's nice to have someone there. ] Okay. I'll be heading back shortly. This put things into perspective.
[ Inversely, he'd been so caught up in allowing himself to feel relief that he hadn't noticed at all how long he had or hadn't been silent. It hadn't even crossed his mind. ]
You're a good friend too. [ He should have stopped at that, but the next words came before he even had the chance to think of stopping them. They didn't come out forcefully or too fast, though. It was just... sincere. ] An amazing one, actually. Returning the favor at all is the least I can do. [ Anyway. He cleared his throat. ] See you soon then.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice;
Before we were an item. [ He corrects. The murder part was a given. She obviously doesn't remember that or he would have directly said this was a huge problem. This might be more important, since she wouldn't have a reason to want to get close to him. He couldn't ...accidentally hurt her. Again. It's a good thing. Maybe. He doesn't know what to feel right now. ]
She trusts me. I could vouch for you. [ That's what he's worried about, right? ]
voice;
That's what I said. [ He was going to regret being so impatient later. ] As fine and dandy is that is, Ed, I don't trust her. How do you know for certain she's the same person you think she is? How is it that Barbara Kean's timeline matches ours but Kristen Kringle's doesn't? Does that not bother you even a little bit? [ How does it not bother him? It has to. It's supposed to. ]
voice;
Who else would she be? [ As if Ed wouldn't know exactly who she was. He wouldn't be so easily fooled by some sort of imposter of someone he got close enough with to love. It's an incredibly short list of people he knows that well. Oswald can be so overly paranoid sometimes. It's almost irrational. Again, the circumstances must be frightening. It implies anyone could show up from any point. It is alarming. He'll forgive him. ]
It doesn't bother me. People fear becoming me more than anything else and I'm the opposite is what you are now. What am I? [ He doesn't wait too long for Oswald to actually solve this one. ] Dead. If she were on our timeline, she would be a rotting corpse. It'd be impossible to have her here from the same point as the rest of us.
voice;
You're missing my -- [ He cut himself short, his lips pressed together in a straight line to contain any snappy remarks he easily would have let loose on anyone else. The last thing he wanted to think about was a riddle just then, but he still had intention of answering it until Ed gave the solution before he even had the chance. Never mind then. ]
This goes beyond just timelines. Lest you've forgotten, you were the one who proposed multiple universes to begin with, so allow me to ask you this: have you considered at all that the one she came from isn't the same as ours? That she's not the Kristen Kringle you [ supposedly ] know? To rule out such a possibility so soon considering the rather major discrepancy we are aware of isn't like you, Ed. One night you can't sleep because of so many unanswered questions and the next you're eagerly willing to accept something that so shamelessly spits in the face of logic?
voice;
You're misunderstanding. I'm aware this is not the same exact version. Her arrival here creates a paradoxical situation. She can not be both alive and dead in the same universe. However, this is Kristen Kringle, regardless of whatever version she may be. There is clearly enough parallel events on her timeline to lead to an almost exact replica of how she would look, act and react in the way a version of her would have from our own.
I am not proposing we trust her with sensitive information. Simply that if she reacts negatively to you, I may be able to reason out a positive outlook.
voice;
[ That was all he could say for a moment. Just repeating that thought. Somehow he managed to say it plainly but unevenly all at once. Neutral but also bitter. It hurt, in a way. Did Ed think he was incompetent and filled with baseless arguments There was nothing but the sound of his breathing coming through the phone for a short while as he considered if that could be true or not. He also came to a realization. Nothing he said was going to change Ed's mind, and there was nothing he could do to take Kristen out of the equation. He was stuck. There was certainly no ease in his voice when he chose to speak again, but all things considered he was coming across much calmer than he thought he was capable of pretending to be. ]
You know what? Fine. Clearly this discussion is going nowhere, so fine. I concede. You've known what's best many times in the past. Who am I to argue? [ That Ed often saw things in the most beneficial light was the truth, but Oswald did want to argue. He just... couldn't. Didn't have a choice. ]
voice;
The phone gets shifted from one ear to the other. ]
My apologizes if I've offended you. This is upsetting. I was hoping you'd say something... reassuring. You might be right. I'm being too calm about this. Does it really sound like excuses?
[ Oh dear. ]
voice;
There's no need for apology. [ He said that too fast. It felt unnatural. Breathe in, breathe out. ] Ed. I know from your position that I may seem... well, a bit prone to overreaction, but I do worry that past affections may hinder your sight. I say this, of course, only out of concern for you as my dear friend. If you think you can convince her to remain unconcerned with me I will happily trust you to it [ lie ], but as for where this could go in other areas... I'm worried you may end up hurt. [ Half of a lie. ]
voice;
Ed removes the phone from his ear and puts it against his forehead. He doesn't know what he was expecting here. Seeing her had brought about a flush of emotions. He never did stop loving her, as enlightening as it had been to kill her after the initial shock. This could be a do over.
But it shouldn't be.
Defeated: ]
She's only been here a few hours and I'm questioning myself. [ Duh. More to himself. He paces in his spot, switching the phone's position again from one ear to the other. ]
Act as friend. It would be suspect to act otherwise. But things have to be kept at a distance. I can't be honest with her and pursuing her in any capacity is out of the question. I'll likely only end up hurting her again. [ Or worse. That'll hurt him. Oswald's right. A pause ] Should any contradiction between her timeline and ours arises, we'll adjust our stories accordingly to match.
voice;
[ But he didn't. Ed feeling any shred of emotional duress was the opposite of what he wanted, but so was him feeling any shred of longing for Kristen. That wasn't in the plan. She wasn't in the plan. He told himself that he had trailed off his words to let Ed think, but he'd done it for himself as well. Just as he'd been about to speak up again, Ed did instead. ]
... you're not going to pursue her? [ Oswald sounded quiet, unsure. The rest of it had registered but that was the first thing that tumbled out of his mouth. ]
voice;
[ It comes out a little too fast and Ed almost feels like he shouldn't have. He pauses, voice quiet. Sobering. Almost regretful. ]
What if I hurt her? I can't. She didn't- Doesn't. She doesn't agree with what I did. And I don't regret it. I have to accept that. It ended horribly. It would undoubtedly repeat itself. I don't think I could keep lying so I couldn't continue to be with someone that would view me like- [ A psychopath? Clears his throat. ] Well.
That's sorted out. Sorry for bothering you.
voice;
He let out a small, breathy laugh. It was so selfish to be happy, especially the way Ed sounded, but the fear that there was a possibility of losing him to the only person who had the power to take him away -- it was horrifying. But not anymore. He lifted his hand from the phone, seeing now the opportunity he had. He could be the one to support Ed. He was the one who could be there. ]
You shouldn't regret it. You did it because you wanted to protect someone you cared about. There is no regret to be had, friend. I'm only sorry it was for someone who didn't know how to appreciate it. [ Unlike him. He knew how to appreciate how far Ed was willing to go. ] Please believe me when I say that you're not a bother to me. I'll always listen to you. Always. What are friends for, right?
voice;
Ed almost bites his nail but catches himself and drops his hand. Oswald has good points. She didn't appreciate that. He probably didn't break it to her right. Maybe if he explained better and didn't hide it-
Now he's making excuses. ]
You're a good friend, Oswald. [ It's nice to have someone there. ] Okay. I'll be heading back shortly. This put things into perspective.
voice;
You're a good friend too. [ He should have stopped at that, but the next words came before he even had the chance to think of stopping them. They didn't come out forcefully or too fast, though. It was just... sincere. ] An amazing one, actually. Returning the favor at all is the least I can do. [ Anyway. He cleared his throat. ] See you soon then.