eatsfish | ☂

Don't tell me you acquired a crossbow for the pure sake of telling a riddle once.

[ . . . ]

Ed. Tell me you didn't.

I'm quite involved in this one. I already have the rig set up.

May I ask why this is something you feel compelled to do?

This one is going to be a threatening power move against a pitiful excuse of a doctor of medicine. If he gets it wrong, he may be impaled and I'm not going to be the one holding the crossbow when it goes off. Not to worry.

That... has absolutely nothing to do with what I asked.

Did you mean this specific riddle? Because I answered the question. I was compelled to ruin him.

No -- yes, actually, but for what reason are we ruining this man in particular?

You ask that like he didn't do something deserving of it.

Oh, I get it. I'm expected to be a mind reader now, is that it? I should just already know! Of course. I'm being so silly.

Never mind. I'll just have him shoot himself with the crossbow.

Or you could stop being stubborn and just tell me.

Tell you what? That someone annoyed me enough that I thought of an elaborate way to both humiliate and possibly dispose of them?

Why they annoyed you, Ed. Why.

Why does that matter? They're terrible at their job. Doctor Moore received the worst replacement. I'm sick of looking at him. He's insulting.

You could have just said that in the first place. [ Why are you so difficult, Ed? SIGH. ] I suppose you could make up some story about needing his assistance figuring out how the weapon was used in a murder case or something. If he's an idiot he won't need much convincing.

Hm. No. It's far too unconvincing that I would need help with that for even his insignificant reasoning skills. He's copied off of me before.

If he's inevitably going to die anyway does it matter if he's alarmed or not?

How is he supposed to do the puzzle if he's busy screaming because I threatened him with a crossbow?

I honestly don't see a way around this that doesn't involve feigning ignorance; which, as we know, is counterproductive to almost everything. Just let him scream.

[ LONG SIGH. A pause. ] Okay. If it's going to be a scene, I'm adding four more people to this so it's more entertaining.

[ Oh for the love of -- ] Who now? [ He should have known this was going to happen. ]

Does it matter?

Honestly, it's a bit concerning that you suddenly feel the need to off a decent portion of your coworkers but if you say it doesn't matter then I suppose it doesn't.

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