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Much better, I would think. I had off today.
You didn't leave in weather appropriate attire. It's been bothering me.

Yes, yes, lucky you.

Bothering you? For whatever reason could that be?

Sweat stains are disgusting and I'm trying to figure out how you've been avoiding them.

I thought you were above indirectly asking for hints, Ed.

I wasn't asking you to tell me the answer.

No, but I don't see you denying the part about hints.

Edited 2017-07-05 23:37 (UTC)

Don't insult me.

The real reason you messaged me is because there's something wrong, isn't there? You're much more open to banter most other days.

No, Oswald. Banter is banter when it's fun, not implying I needed a hint. You've gone and ruined it for me. :(

I wasn't implying you needed it. I was implying you were trying to outsmart me into giving you one when you more than likely already have it figured out. Now it's ruined for me too. ):

I do have it figured out. It was a joke. :( :(
This doesn't translate very well over text.

I ruined your joke? ): ): ): Can we try another?

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One letter?

[ Obviously not. That was a joke. The next one wasn't, but he kept it short so Ed still got to actually deliver the punchline. ]

Weight?

One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter.

[ The response that came actually made him giggle once or twice. Probably only Ed could make him laugh at something like that. ]

Cute, Ed. You worded that much more humorously than I could have. So you really did text me just to tell jokes?

Thank you. No, I need you to bring home batteries.

...

What kind?

AAA. I need seven.

Because...?

I built a bomb and the remote needs batteries. Obviously.

If you're going to be a smartass you can get them yourself.

My ass never stops being smart, Oswald. It's for the clock on the wall. The remote control. The bomb I've built.

I can't leave right now and you're already out.

Oh my god. Fine. I'll get them.

Right. You can't leave because of the bomb you're building. What exactly are you going to do with that?

Destroy a printing press. And it's finished. I just need the batteries. I can't leave because I'm cooking and the towels are in the dryer.

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