eatsfish | ☂

oh so you dont like
secretly have a bff thats a zombie or something

its wrong man
you should hang out with me
with smashable objects

i read rap god dont i
because i am
literal rap god dave strider
as in a rapping god
hell yeah

Not unless it's such a big secret that not even I know.

The best I can do is hang out with you while you're the one doing the smashing. You can't go back on a final answer, Strider. It's against the rules.

There is that certain aura about you, yes.

ive had huge plot twists in my life
you never know how fucked up you can get
but good on you for just being a dude
a successful dude but a dude
i wanna just be a dude

i dont wanna do the smashing though
see this is where the whole problem lies
i need to get people to smash for me

my aura says rap god are you fucking serious

The world does have unfortunate ways of testing us. Plot twists are rarely pleasant, are they? I imagine godhood would be a heavy burden to bear. I apologize if this line of discussion was upsetting to you.

Perhaps it's none of my business, but who all have you asked?

That's only one of the things it says.

nah its cool
theyre fucking horrible
but i think i had to have them to end up somewhere i can actually be happy
i mean i still dont want to have that fucking responsibility
and i might be traumatized to fuck and maybe thatll kick me in the ass further down
but without that shit i think
i mightve been in a really bad place
without ever fully realizing it
and it wouldve escalated until
it was too late for me to do anything about it
i think i wouldnt get to be me
so in a way the worst shit was the best shit??

uh
you and jaune

what else does it say

That's a very wise outlook. It's one that I wish I had figured out much earlier in my own life, admittedly. Still, I am sorry you had so many troubles to face. Youth should be cared for much more greatly than they sometimes are.

There's no one else?

I thought we already agreed that revealing everything at once takes all the fun away.

you got that fucking right
it kinda sucks to only realize it when youre older

see when you ask that question it makes me sound kind of depressing
that i dont got people to break shit with
that arent a dad figure

how dare you use my own logic against me
but yeah point
fair enough
as long as its nothing bad though
i dont want you secretly sitting there being like daves aura says hes a dickwad
which i will be like okay thats fine
but also dude
let a bro know

Do you? What you deserve would be easier to determine if I had all the information.

You're right. You deserve honesty. I'll give you the truth, Ed, but it can't be like this. I need to say it to your face. It's the only way you might understand. What I deserve after that I'll leave in your hands.

Very well. Just say when.

As soon as you're able.

I don't want there to be secrets between us anymore.

Now.

Where?

Living room.

You still figured it out sooner than I did. One could say it counts for something that we figured it out at all.

That was poor wording on my part. I hope you'll forgive my lack of foresight.

It's nothing of the sort. I wouldn't speak to you outside of business if that was how I felt. I suppose, were I to honestly answer the question, I would say you give me the sense that you're a trustworthy person. Would that be erroneous?

Understood. I'll be there.

[ What more was there to say than that? He didn't know. All the weeks he had spent slaving over the right things to say and he still hadn't figured out anything. Was there a right way? Could there ever be? Or was the affection he couldn't extinguish, couldn't hide, the thing that would destroy what they did have? It was just another uncertainty. In that moment the only thing he could be sure of is that secrecy itself wasn't going to be what tore them apart. The thought of what would come after that was perhaps the most frightening thing Oswald had ever faced in his life, but Ed had a right to know. He'd had the right to know from the start.

For a time Oswald had taken to pacing the living area, his nerves increasing with every passing second of wondering where Ed was and what he was thinking. The suspense and torment of waiting was only fair. He'd done it to the person he claimed he loved, hadn't he? Maybe he was too selfish for love. Too... greedy. Eventually he found himself on the couch, face in his hands and a cloud of desperation hanging over him. He was going to ruin everything and Ed would hate him forever and he couldn't do a damned thing to stop what was coming. Why why why had he not been honest sooner? ]

go us having epiphanies

its fine its fine
its true lol

erroneous is a good word
it is not erroneous
im trustworthy as fuck
im the only person people can truly trust to be the banker in monopoly
because
no wait bad example
i have stolen the money once
trustworthy with everything but that one thing
more trustworthy than your socks
you think theyll stay up all day but sometimes theyre fucking quitters and roll down
that might also be a bad example
bc it occurs to me you may have never not been in a super fine suit
and are probably wearing those sock clips that keep that exact thing from happening
im more trustworthy than bodyguards that are paid all the money
put your god damn life in my hands i am a walking bundle of trust and safety
the only fucking truth in this world is my fucking holy trust
all covet those who have it

Well then, I might be able to make an exception and help you out. Since you are a friend and you are trustworthy. Except in Monopoly, which is good to know.

so you gonna come to the shop and look at this shit?

It looks that way. Persuasiveness must be among your skill set as well. When did you want me to stop by?

everybody gives in to me because im just that damn fucking cute
its irresistible
and you know
whenever
one of me will be there

[ Ed keeps him waiting for at least five minutes. Intentionally. Truth be told, he was already in the room and simply backed out when he told him to meet him there. Just to see what he'd do. How he's reacting. If Ed can guess what it is that's driving Oswald to hold it to himself so deeply before he goes in there and tries to provoke it out of him.

He's off to the side, in the doorway. Craning his neck to look at him from the hall. A little out of sight but not really. If Oswald really looked, he'd see him.

The pacing is a sign of increasing nerves. Oswald thinks Ed will hate him for, he deduces. Guilty but he doesn't know of what. He can't think of anything he did wrong towards him. When he sinks down on the couch, he moves ahead into the room. He looks so sad and he doesn't want to see it. ]

Oswald. [ He doesn't know if he should even be mad or not. Oswald seems to think he's justified on it but Oswald also thought he had to rig an entire election because he doesn't know what people are thinking about him. Ed decides he's just mad about being favored second for things.

His expression probably comes off a little cold that way, calculating. Eyes flickering about Oswald's face to try and notice any subtle change in emotion and trying to get into his head and solve it before he says anything. ]

[ Of course, he didn't look. Ed had probably known that he wouldn't. The other man likely knew most of his tendencies and habits better than he himself did by now. Oswald hadn't guessed how long he would be sitting there like that, but he had assumed it would be longer and that he would have at least heard Ed coming in so that he could pretend to not be a complete mess if even for a second. But he'd been completely caught off guard, the way he jumped in his seat and took a sharp intake of air as he let his hands fall a more than telling indication of such. ]

Ed? [ His trepidation was quite clear by his tone, almost as if he had been on the verge of crying. That calculating look on his face only made the knot of anxiety in his stomach knot further. He made himself stand, but his eyes were on Ed for only a few stray seconds before his gaze fell downward. ] I-I hadn't expected you so soon.

[ His lips downturn, until he puts them together tightly. Oswald looks like he's on the edge of a meltdown. What did he do to get there? What did you do? Ed's glad he caught this. It'll put whatever he says next in a better context. ]

Got out early. Did you need a minute? [ He asks it but they both know Ed's not going to actually give him that minute now. He's not going to leave. But it's still asked, if somewhat less concerned than he might sound if he caught him like this otherwise.

Oswald responds better to emotion. He could approach this differently. Ask what's bothering him nicely, as a friend.
But he'll also crack quicker if Ed doesn't give away what he's feeling. This is the way to do it. ]

[ Oswald squeezed his eyes shut for several short moments that felt like several extremely long ones before exhaling and forcing himself to keep his gaze set on Ed. It was hard not to waver when the concern that he usually saw when he was in states like this was replaced with a sternness he wasn't quite used to, but if he could survive all that he had until this point and not stay knocked down surely he could do something as simple as look the person he cared for so deeply in the eye. Surely. ]

No. That won't be necessary. [ As much as part of him wanted to back out, the larger part of him didn't. Couldn't. It wasn't as if he had a choice anyway. He had to face this and he had to do it now. ] I think that perhaps we should sit for this discussion. If you don't mind.

☂

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