eatsfish | ☂

oh so you dont like
secretly have a bff thats a zombie or something

its wrong man
you should hang out with me
with smashable objects

i read rap god dont i
because i am
literal rap god dave strider
as in a rapping god
hell yeah

Not unless it's such a big secret that not even I know.

The best I can do is hang out with you while you're the one doing the smashing. You can't go back on a final answer, Strider. It's against the rules.

There is that certain aura about you, yes.

ive had huge plot twists in my life
you never know how fucked up you can get
but good on you for just being a dude
a successful dude but a dude
i wanna just be a dude

i dont wanna do the smashing though
see this is where the whole problem lies
i need to get people to smash for me

my aura says rap god are you fucking serious

The world does have unfortunate ways of testing us. Plot twists are rarely pleasant, are they? I imagine godhood would be a heavy burden to bear. I apologize if this line of discussion was upsetting to you.

Perhaps it's none of my business, but who all have you asked?

That's only one of the things it says.

nah its cool
theyre fucking horrible
but i think i had to have them to end up somewhere i can actually be happy
i mean i still dont want to have that fucking responsibility
and i might be traumatized to fuck and maybe thatll kick me in the ass further down
but without that shit i think
i mightve been in a really bad place
without ever fully realizing it
and it wouldve escalated until
it was too late for me to do anything about it
i think i wouldnt get to be me
so in a way the worst shit was the best shit??

uh
you and jaune

what else does it say

That's a very wise outlook. It's one that I wish I had figured out much earlier in my own life, admittedly. Still, I am sorry you had so many troubles to face. Youth should be cared for much more greatly than they sometimes are.

There's no one else?

I thought we already agreed that revealing everything at once takes all the fun away.

you got that fucking right
it kinda sucks to only realize it when youre older

see when you ask that question it makes me sound kind of depressing
that i dont got people to break shit with
that arent a dad figure

how dare you use my own logic against me
but yeah point
fair enough
as long as its nothing bad though
i dont want you secretly sitting there being like daves aura says hes a dickwad
which i will be like okay thats fine
but also dude
let a bro know

You still figured it out sooner than I did. One could say it counts for something that we figured it out at all.

That was poor wording on my part. I hope you'll forgive my lack of foresight.

It's nothing of the sort. I wouldn't speak to you outside of business if that was how I felt. I suppose, were I to honestly answer the question, I would say you give me the sense that you're a trustworthy person. Would that be erroneous?

go us having epiphanies

its fine its fine
its true lol

erroneous is a good word
it is not erroneous
im trustworthy as fuck
im the only person people can truly trust to be the banker in monopoly
because
no wait bad example
i have stolen the money once
trustworthy with everything but that one thing
more trustworthy than your socks
you think theyll stay up all day but sometimes theyre fucking quitters and roll down
that might also be a bad example
bc it occurs to me you may have never not been in a super fine suit
and are probably wearing those sock clips that keep that exact thing from happening
im more trustworthy than bodyguards that are paid all the money
put your god damn life in my hands i am a walking bundle of trust and safety
the only fucking truth in this world is my fucking holy trust
all covet those who have it

Well then, I might be able to make an exception and help you out. Since you are a friend and you are trustworthy. Except in Monopoly, which is good to know.

so you gonna come to the shop and look at this shit?

It looks that way. Persuasiveness must be among your skill set as well. When did you want me to stop by?

everybody gives in to me because im just that damn fucking cute
its irresistible
and you know
whenever
one of me will be there

☂

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