I didn't even love my mother the way she deserved, Ed. I lied to her all the time. I endangered her because of what I wanted. She died in a way that could never befit her because of the things I chose to do. I didn't put her first. I would have done the same to you. Loved, but selfishly. Greedily. I don't know that I would have learned differently until it was too late and I lost you. You learned what love is first. You would have realized mine wasn't good enough.
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Do you?