[ It would have crushed Oswald to know that Ed had that many doubts about the foundation of their friendship. It wasn't to say that he hadn't had his own worries as of late, but Ed's were so intense in a way he hadn't realized for so long. Even though he had begun to understand, he hadn't been sure that worry was something he would react with until he saw his expression slowly fading to something less like the mask he wore when he trying to keep himself in check. Was it possible that they both felt vulnerable?
Oswald gave a small nod at the correct answer, but he had to stop himself from putting his fingers to his mouth out of nerves. He'd been almost certain Ed wouldn't understand the meaning at first, but that wasn't the conclusion he'd thought he would make. Once again he was shaking his head, and again he was reaching to touch him. Why fight it? His hand landed on his upper arm, grasping it in what he realized was an attempt to assure both of them. ]
There's nothing wrong with my heart, Ed. It's the complete opposite. I think I'm finally learning how to use it. [ A quiet, breathy laugh accompanied his words, as did an earnest albeit unassuming smile. He put his head down momentarily, but upon looking up again he knew he had to explain what that meant. He'd been counting on needing to explain. He needed to make Ed believe how important he was to him if his confession was going to mean anything in the end. ] Do you remember, before we were here, how I wished for someone to share my good fortune with? [ A short pause. ] I mean. Of course you remember. You would never forget. You remember everything about everyth-- [ He'd begun gesturing too much. Had he really started rambling like that? There was a tinge of embarrassment to his expression for the second time since they'd sat, but he didn't have time to stop and hide it this time. Hiding it wasn't going to help his case. But he did need to be as composed as possible to get the words to align themselves properly. After a short second, he began again. ]
After mother and father passed, I almost believed that I was meant to live the rest of my life without anyone beside me at all. It didn't feel possible that anyone could care about me so mutually again. Without... judging me or looking down on me or believing there's nothing at all in me that's good. But then there was you. [ His eyes had begun growing cloudy, emotion that had been pent up for so long on the verge of being released. He still hadn't withdrawn his hand. ] You're the only one that has been there to prove to me time and time that I'm not alone. You... you almost died for me, Ed. You were willing to sacrifice everything for me. Because you cared. There was nothing for you to gain, no game to win. It was because you cared. [ He took his hand back and covered his mouth, the water at the brim of his eyes becoming harder to keep dammed. Saying everything out loud made it feel even more real, even when he thought he couldn't have felt any more deeply than he already did. Is that what it felt like to really love someone? He blinked heavily in hopes that it would keep the tears from coming, but it barely mattered. It was only a matter of time before he cried. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop anything anymore. ]
What I've wanted to say is what you've done for me has changed me. [ His voice was cracking. He must have been both acting and looking a mess, but he didn't care. For once he just didn't care. ] You changed me, just by being you. I've discovered that for all my searching, the only person I could ever need or want was already with me. I know you might not believe anything I say because I've been so cruelly dishonest, but I'm begging you to understand that right now I'm being more honest with you than I've ever been with anyone in my entire life. I hid myself away because I didn't want to ruin what we already had, but the truth... [ His tears were finally flowing freely, but for a reason he couldn't explain he was still smiling that small smile of hope. He took Ed's hand, gently closing his own around it. ] The truth is, Ed, I adore you. Every single part of you. And I... I love you. Deeply, completely, truthfully, unquestionably. I love you, Edward Nygma.
[ And now all he could do was search his eyes and hope. Hope that somehow, someway, Ed would still accept him. That he would still care. That maybe best friends wasn't the only thing they could be. ]
action;
Oswald gave a small nod at the correct answer, but he had to stop himself from putting his fingers to his mouth out of nerves. He'd been almost certain Ed wouldn't understand the meaning at first, but that wasn't the conclusion he'd thought he would make. Once again he was shaking his head, and again he was reaching to touch him. Why fight it? His hand landed on his upper arm, grasping it in what he realized was an attempt to assure both of them. ]
There's nothing wrong with my heart, Ed. It's the complete opposite. I think I'm finally learning how to use it. [ A quiet, breathy laugh accompanied his words, as did an earnest albeit unassuming smile. He put his head down momentarily, but upon looking up again he knew he had to explain what that meant. He'd been counting on needing to explain. He needed to make Ed believe how important he was to him if his confession was going to mean anything in the end. ] Do you remember, before we were here, how I wished for someone to share my good fortune with? [ A short pause. ] I mean. Of course you remember. You would never forget. You remember everything about everyth-- [ He'd begun gesturing too much. Had he really started rambling like that? There was a tinge of embarrassment to his expression for the second time since they'd sat, but he didn't have time to stop and hide it this time. Hiding it wasn't going to help his case. But he did need to be as composed as possible to get the words to align themselves properly. After a short second, he began again. ]
After mother and father passed, I almost believed that I was meant to live the rest of my life without anyone beside me at all. It didn't feel possible that anyone could care about me so mutually again. Without... judging me or looking down on me or believing there's nothing at all in me that's good. But then there was you. [ His eyes had begun growing cloudy, emotion that had been pent up for so long on the verge of being released. He still hadn't withdrawn his hand. ] You're the only one that has been there to prove to me time and time that I'm not alone. You... you almost died for me, Ed. You were willing to sacrifice everything for me. Because you cared. There was nothing for you to gain, no game to win. It was because you cared. [ He took his hand back and covered his mouth, the water at the brim of his eyes becoming harder to keep dammed. Saying everything out loud made it feel even more real, even when he thought he couldn't have felt any more deeply than he already did. Is that what it felt like to really love someone? He blinked heavily in hopes that it would keep the tears from coming, but it barely mattered. It was only a matter of time before he cried. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop anything anymore. ]
What I've wanted to say is what you've done for me has changed me. [ His voice was cracking. He must have been both acting and looking a mess, but he didn't care. For once he just didn't care. ] You changed me, just by being you. I've discovered that for all my searching, the only person I could ever need or want was already with me. I know you might not believe anything I say because I've been so cruelly dishonest, but I'm begging you to understand that right now I'm being more honest with you than I've ever been with anyone in my entire life. I hid myself away because I didn't want to ruin what we already had, but the truth... [ His tears were finally flowing freely, but for a reason he couldn't explain he was still smiling that small smile of hope. He took Ed's hand, gently closing his own around it. ] The truth is, Ed, I adore you. Every single part of you. And I... I love you. Deeply, completely, truthfully, unquestionably. I love you, Edward Nygma.
[ And now all he could do was search his eyes and hope. Hope that somehow, someway, Ed would still accept him. That he would still care. That maybe best friends wasn't the only thing they could be. ]